That's intense
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
