I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
