It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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