K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is Oprah even human
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
