This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
