Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
