Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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