I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
