i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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