8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
