I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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