i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
