dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
