He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
