it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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