How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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