So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
