It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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