So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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