oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
