All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
