her vagine was all disorganized.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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