This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
