She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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