She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
