Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My dick has a subreddit
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize