dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
