No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
