Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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