I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
