Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
