Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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