she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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