The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
