Don't you send me to vm
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
