it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
