Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
