You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize