I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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