"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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