she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
