I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
