Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I need moral support for this bender
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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