Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
