So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
