hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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