Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
