The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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