I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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