no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
