So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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