This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
