i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
