Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
