So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize