I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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