Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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