i used baking grease as lip gloss
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
