So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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