Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
