Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
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some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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