Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
