i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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