we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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