I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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