More tranny stories later!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
