He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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