the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
