party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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