Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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