I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
