On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
